Totally Worth It - Part II
Who knew there would be a second part to the brutally honest and possible most self-centered post based on greed AND my son?
None but that wonderful bastion of self-centered greed: the Federal Government.
And no other Federal Government but that under the most self-centered: George W. Bush.
(Yes, that's a political commentary, feel free to rant all you want.)
We recently received the notice that we are on the list of those who may or may not, depending on some non-Euclidian geometry, receive some kind of miniscule Federal aid package coming some time in the near or not-so-near future.
The bonus is that we potentially could get $300 just for having Porter.
Rock!
posted by RobRoy @ 11:13 AM
2 comments
2 Comments:
Okay, I hear this question all the time: What do I have to do to get $300 from the Fed Gov? The rules, while seemingly complex, are very simple. 1) Take your pant size in cm. 2) Remove 5cm to honor the God whose tax rebate this is. 3) Your pant size, minus 5cm, should now be multiplied by 2i and then divided by your spouse's cat's 3rd whisker length. If your spouse doesn't have a cat, refer to form 1040ezx-a section 3, part 2.4 for a suitable value. 4) Take your yearly income from form 1097q, line 42 and multiply it by the average wind speed of a fully laden swallow. African if you're in the south, European if you're in the north. North/south location is determined by the Mason-Dixon line. Don't forget to carry q, it's very important. Tighten the lug nuts in a star-based pattern to 33 parsecs, each, then 76 joules each, then to 14 ft-lbs each. If your tax form did not include a 2.5mm hex driver, please fill out form 23145 and drive it to your local IRS station. Then, when that's all done, simply divultiply the remainder of q's egg by pi. If the resulting horsepower is higher than your car, you get $300. Simple really.
Thank god we don't have cats. I got to stop at #3.
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