Collect Call From "Wehaddababy Eetsaboy"!

Wednesday, September 26th, 4:53pm
Height: 20 inches
Weight: 6lbs 15ozs
APGAR: 8 at 1 minute, 9 at 5 minutes

Mother and child are doing fine.

Father is running off 36 hours of no sleep.

Disneyland a Bust

Saturday it rained.

I would say that it never rains in Southern California, but given that it rained Saturday, I would be lying.

I am not above lying, but I am above telling dumb lies, as the aforementioned never raining in Southern California is.

But I can safely say that it rains so rarely here that my truck sees more filtered water bouncing off its rapidly oxidizing paint than it does the natual acid rain that falls here.

That being the case, most SoCal folk run fleeing in terror as God's punishment falls down on them. Those who don't fear God think this might be a trick of some God-Folk to get them baptized, and so they run as well.

This largely leaves Disneyland, packed to the gills on most days, sparse as a ghost town by comparison. So, we were off to Disneyland, first because it was a chance to actually enjoy the "Happiest Place on Earth" and second because walking is good for Lil and might induce labor. And I'm told that if you have a baby in Disneyland, that they pick up the tab for college education.

Gosh, isn't Disney the bestest!?

Alas, all we got for our efforts was some cardiovascular activity, mediocre food, and more entertainment then you can shake a magic wand at.

And Still No News

Lil is still "long and high" or "high and long" or "long and deep". I can never remember the actual terms. Something to do with football, I think, or maybe it's baseball.

Some sport type terminology that's been plied, indescriminately by the fallacracy to keep women down.

What does that mean to you? Nothing. You're not important here.

What does that mean to me? Still nothing. What? You think because I write this blog that I'm important.

Silly mortal.

What this means to Lil and to Porter is that Porter is not ready to be born yet. Well, technically, it means that Lil's body hasn't figured out that letting go of this bundle of joy after nine and a half months might be in both their best interests. This isn't uncommon, but it does tend to complicate things, like doctor's golf times and martini lunches.

How rude.

So, the upshot of this update is that the doctor will induce Lil on October 1st. That is barring, ya know, labor. That doesn't mean we'll have a baby on October 1st, but that they'll start trying to convince Lil's body that it should let Porter out into the world to make his own way.

More to follow, as I'm sure you know.

Houston, We're Right On Schedule

The baby has turned.

That's the news.

It's big news, I'm told. Very big.

Thanks for sharing with me.